“Don’t you dare make me go to school! It’s like, really violent and stressy and there are bullies! I won’t go back, I tell you!”

“But Mummy, I need to turn up or I’ll fail my GCSEs.”

“All right then, but I’m deducting the cost of the bull bars and taser from your pocket money.”

I hate to intrude on private grief at the weekend, just when your blood pressure is finally lowered and that sheen of sweat on your forehead has evaporated, but are you prepared, mentally, for Monday morning’s onslaught?

No, not the pan-European video-conference, the root canal work, or moving house while eight months pregnant with twins. Something much more testing and traumatic.

via >The school run beats Pamplona for road rage – Telegraph.