Source: Timesonline >> Read Full Article and Comment
David Code, a Canadian priest and family coach, has written a controversial book saying that parents should put their marriage before their children
Do you feel exasperated by this, yet believe that your child needs your attention to avoid being traumatised by your absence?
If you recognise yourself from this description, so does David Code — and he wants you to stop. Your extreme focus on the children is doing nothing to prepare them for independence, he says. By giving them too much attention and cushioning them from life’s knocks, he says, you are raising people who are likely to become self-centred, obnoxious and unemployable. You are over-parenting and the consequences are dire.
“We are creating young adults who are our future bosses,” Code says. “They’ve grown up being the centre of the universe and expect to remain so, and they don’t even have the basic skills of co-operation and teamwork to survive in a job environment. They’ve been praised and protected for so long that their sense of entitlement makes them unbearable.”
Mr Code, 44, a Canadian priest and family coach, published in September a book in the United States called To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First, a challenge to the aspirational — and competitive — notion of intensive parenting. Its result is that the children become troubled, develop behaviour problems and are likely to become dysfunctional adults.
His answer? Step back, focus on your marriage, nurture your own relationship, allow your children to observe the day-to-day conflict and resolution within your relationship with your spouse — and watch them become happier.… Continue Reading
